I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
