google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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