You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
