So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize