Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize