then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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