you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
