who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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