was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
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You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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