All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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