I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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