Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
