mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i will never coherently bang her
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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