Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
