what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize