any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My vagina just recognized that song.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
