My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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