i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
