Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I want her autograph on my taint
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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