Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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