Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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