So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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