My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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