I wannas sexs uuuuu
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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