He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
