My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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