What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
