I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
ttyl tear gas
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
