Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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