May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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