I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
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I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
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My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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