Nicole vs. Life
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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