Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
