I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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