i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
