I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize