Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
