well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
