Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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