Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
