We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
