the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I currently don't understand fingers.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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