White coat. Heels.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
