I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
