Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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