I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize