I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
