I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
