So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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