Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
