i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
