There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
