Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
