I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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