How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
