I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
there is glitter all over my balls
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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