Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
