Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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